So, quick story . I was working in the Er one night. Picked up an extra shift because I’m greedy , anyways it was a night I usually don’t work. This lady came in and she overdosed on something Her urine came back positive for several things so take you pick.
She was really sick , she coded within the first hour . We did cpr , epi, the whole thing and we were able to regain her pulse.
She was intubated put on a vent and she did code three more time that night. I had a horrible shift . Anyways by the end of my shift she stabilized ICU had no open beds so she stayed in the ER.
I was off only 2 days, came back and she was extubated , off the vent and awake and alert . She was still in the ER, because ICU still had no beds.
So when I was assigned to her I was actually suprised and happy she was doing so much better.
So when I walked into the room she immediately yelled at me to shave her vagina, she wanted to go home and when I refused to shave her vagina she spit on my face. ,
I washed my face , I was soooooo pissed! I mean PISSED! Anyways , I gave her AMA paperwork, and said she was free to go but then she wanted to know who was in charge, because She wanted to tell them I wouldn’t shave her vagina. I told my charge and my charge wanted to fight her😂😂.
Then she wouldn’t leave because her vagina wasn’t shaved and and she wanted pain meds and had no ride. I have her a sandwich and a taxi voucher and a peace out sign .
So police brings in an escort. She was under arrest and confessed to “hiding “ 20,000 worth of chips in her person. Unable to naturally release the chips she was brought to the ER for pain, abdominal distention due to foreign parts.
So basically she came in with police, we were made aware of the situation. Did an X-ray and found the chips were deep in her colon . I don’t know how they, at the jail, attempting to retrieve the chips. But the doctors had to mechanically remove the chips.
So please wash your hands after touching casino chips. Because that’s not the first time this has happened !!
So one time a groom decided to have his bachelor part in Vegas . He wanted to party and have fun and so did his grooms men.
Sooo long story short, the groom got really drunk . His groomsmen wanted to have fun also. So when the groom get so drunk , they decided to put “nair” on his penis and testicles.
So nair is a lotion that makes her hair fall. It’s very strong and not meant to be kept on for a long period of time.
So he comes in with 3 degree burns. The day he is suppose to get married…had to postpone the wedding after being told we couldn’t “fix” it in a couple of hours. So we gave him some pain medicine, cleaned his wounds. His penis was so red and raw, small spots of open skin was visible. Same as the testis. And even part of the thighs. Sooo painful. We had to dress his penis, testis, thighs.
Burns take so long to heal and are sooo painful to physical treat and change the dressing . I never asked how he explained it to his future wife
So one time I had a patient come in and he was stuck. LITERALLY.
So one time a man in his 70’s -80’s really high blood pressure…flushed.. anxious. Why???? Well let me back track. So a while back Mountain Dew decided to make “big mouth bottles”. Basically bigger bottle opening size. Ok back to ER , he managed to grease penis inside and when he “finished” his penis got stuck inside the bottle.
So when I received him his penis was swollen and purple and he was in sooo much pain. He said “ this didn’t happen last time”. I looked at the bottles and noticed it was filled with Mountain Dew and his semen. IT WAS JUST FLOATING AROUND .
So gave him pain meds… had the Er doc remove the bottle, and consulted wound care . Don’t know what happens to him but . He will always be remembered
So I came in my shift my pt was a 90 year old pt she was sedated and intubated. Diagnosed with AAA, Abdominal aortic aneurysm type A. Basically a bulging or ballon like bubble in the aorta that needs immediate medical attention can result in death by bleeding to death from the inside.
Family wanted time to decide what to do so we extubated the pt and waited for the sedation to wear off to get her opinion. It was taking a long time so family went home for the night around 8pm.
At 4am I walked past her room and to my surprise she was sitting up. Since arriving to work pt has not moved at all so I walked into the room. She was sitting up turned to me and smiled asked me when her daughter was coming back. I said soon I will call her right now. She said thank you then smiled. I turned and left the room picked up the phone called her daughter as soon as I started talking I hear the alarms. I put the phone down run to her room asystole rhythm, no pulse, pt eyes tell me everything. She has passed away. I can’t help but notice her neck is pulsing extending outwards almost like a toad. The aneurysm has burst and she was bleeding to death internally. All within minutes she woke up asked for her daughter then died. She smiled when talking right before she died so I tell myself she died happily thinking her daughter was on her way.
So ….. yes we are nurses, and yes I would say about 90% of times we are professionals. But I mean, we are human. Just when you think you are prepared for pretty much anything..this happens.
So guy comes in with several complaints of pain and different health issues. This and that, so get the usual order, labs, ekg, monitor, insert foley.
So basically guy takes clothes off, the foley is ready for insertion, notice pt penis is swollen and not circumcised. Pull the foreskin back and MAGGOTS!! MAGGOTS MAGGOTS GOD DAMN MAGGOTS!!!
So do you know how hard it is to be professional?? So moral of the story, one reason to get circumcised is that maggots can’t hid in the foreskin.